Music Matters Guest Post

Just thought i'd give the link to my guest post!  Bloody excited to be a part of it to be honest!


http://www.whymusicmatters.org/blog/guest-blogger-%E2%80%93-clutterances

Gordon Brown's CV

CV for DR James G. Brown (PhD)


Personal Details:

No 10 Downing Street (whilst I cling on)

London

SW1A 2AA

Email: jamesgbrownpm4abitlonger@hotmail.com

Phone: 020 7925 0918

Married, two children

Valid driving license, although I have not driven for a while

Born - February 20, 1951.

Qualifications:

PhD - History, University of Edingurgh 1982

Member of Parliament 1983

Member of the Privy Council 1996

I am a senior executive, used to high-pressure environments within the UK. I am well travelled, although with only one eye I can only claim to have seen half of the places I have actually visited. I have a history of lobbying support, including succeeding in gaining funds for my organisation from places I shouldn’t. I was promoted into my last role from a position in finance through no assessment and on no merit, and although the 360 degree feedback I have received to date has stated that I should have not moved into general management, I still feel that I have done a great job. Due to feeling that I will be made redundant in the up and coming months, I am thus submitting my CV for any senior finance or general management roles.

Work Experience:

Present Role: General Manager June 2007 until present (just) – Houses of Parliament

Responsibilities:

•    Day-to-day management of senior colleagues – although in reality I can not claim to have any control of their activities

•    Described as impressively being able to micro-manage, yet still exert no control over sub-ordinates

•    Underwent a series of re-structures during my time in charge, all of which were monumental failures.

•    Due to years of experience in finance, I advise my current finance director on budget control. However after a few slip-ups from me and my team, I must admit that this is probably an area in need of improvement.

•    Increased business to business relations with a similar business in the US – mainly through being a Texan’s lap dog. However with new management of this US business, I have resigned my lap-dog status and like to lecture my new counterpart on problems I have no idea how to solve.

•    Increased employee turnover dramatically by ensuring that I employ only the worst and the most incompetent of fools. This has come to a head recently when an external audit found that my staff had been abusing a benefits and reward scheme I put in place to be competitive with the private sector. I also enjoy the hire and fire philosophy of doing business… something that I have done many a time – please contact Mandy for proof of this

•    Committed myself to prior General Manager’s foreign policies, including maintaining heated relations with the middle east despite a huge company rebellion

•    Successfully managed a change transformation program, taking my companies biggest power base (the unions) and successfully managing them into a series of “holidays” that will cripple my company.

•    Called, and then withdrew a recruitment process for my position – as I feared that there may be better candidates in the market for my role, and I had only just redecorated my office.

Prior Positions:

Finance Director – 2 May 1997 – 27 June 2007 - same company as above

•    Despite being older and “wiser” than my line manager in this role, it was felt that my skills would be best suited to finance, rather than taking the lead. However, I am famous for being the longest running person in this post in history

•    Tendered the largest Gold sale in my company’s history – astutely selling when the price of gold was very low, and in the long run financially crippling my company for many years. Rough estimates of the loss I made are around the £2Bn mark.

•    Implemented a spending program to cut resources by the maximum amount in the shortest period of time

•    Infamously had a fantastic referral from a previous finance director Lord Jenkins over an issue I raised about elitism in Oxford university. His reference showed the quality of my argument when he said “nearly every fact he used was false."

Shadow Finance Director - 18 July 1992 – 2 May 1997

•    Increased hot air production through these years by 40% -a new company record.

Core Skills:

Reading: - Poor due to one eye
Writing: - Poor when no one is around to spell check me
Arithmetic: - I would like to say “fair” skills in this area, however my track record shows poor performance. I also claimed once that I don’t know how to use a calculator

Political Views:

•    Socialist

Religious Views:

•    Church of Scotland (The English church rejected my application)

References: Available on request and if I can find any good ones